SSI Pending

I have applied at several nursing homes, to get my spouse placed and they seem to be pushing me to take care of a person, I'm not married to. They say that most homes, won't take SSI Pending. What can I do, I've applied for his SSI and Medicare? He is a person, who has 3 sisters and 2 brothers living in the same town and who won't do a thing to help. I suppose this man has burned one too many bridges, but I can't help that. I'm not a care giver or a nurse, and he needs to be watched to keep him from falling. He does not think well and has to be told simple things like "put on your PJ's, or lift the seat" when visiting the toilet. Many times he can't make it to the toilet and will urinate on the floor. He now has my house smelling like urine, and is limited to the things, he will do for himself, unless told he has to do it. I'm so frustrated with the whole situation, and wish I could get some help.