Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Dear Madre' Maria

Hello Dear Lady,
I never got to know you but I know you would have been, someone I would have really liked. At least I like to think I would have. You are the mother of the man I love and I wish you hadn't died before I could have come down to your town and met you.
I had to be very firm with your son, when all the circumstances surrounding your death were told to us. He wanted to come down and vindicate your death. I wouldn't let him, because I knew it wouldn't change the fact that your were gone. He had a real hard time accepting it and was very hurt that he wasn't there to protect you.
I remember the last time he talked to you on the phone, and he told that he was with me and you told him, that " maybe he would settle his wild butt down, now". I remember him laughing, and saying yeah, "Maybe". Almost 2 years later we're still together and I wish you were still here, for him.
Today, he is still talking of the times, with you and you cooking his favorite foods. I feel the loss along with him, but I know that the bond between you two, will always be in his heart.......for this I am thankful.
I know that you have other children, and that helps him, when he can go and visit them, and remember your times together.
I want you to know that I will do my best to take special care of your son, and I love him very much.
Sincerely,
Nita

Friday, July 25, 2008

Hello God

He's come home and it's better now, but for awhile it was a very sad time for me. We both missed each other and we couldn't accept what the other was doing. Missing each other, brought us back together, whether we resolved the conflict or not. We knew we didn't want to be without the other and that we loved each other. I guess when we take matters into our own hands and don't put them in yours, then we step over the line and disaster happens. I'm so glad this wasn't something that couldn't be resolved, because it would have been hard to live without this friend & love you have given me.
Thank you for putting up with me and guiding me as best as you can, with my stubborn ways.
Sincerely
Nita



Monday, July 21, 2008

Dear Maria


I never knew you, but so many people I'm acquainted with knew you and Indio, down through the year's and knew of the ordeals you and him experienced.
I know that you were together for many years and you somehow found the love and stamina to serve him as a wife he loved. You must have suffered really bad with the cancer, and I'm sure if you loved him as much as I do, you watched him suffer, as he slowly lost you, bearing up as well as he could trying to be the support you needed to try and live. I'm sorry you died, but I thank you for the chance to get to know this unique man, and be able to spend time with him, these days.
He truly is a special man, and as you well know a frustrating one at times. I think I may have seen you one time, back years ago, working in the cafe down at the convenience store, when I stopped there one day buying hamburgers. Your long brownish blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail and you had an apron on and had a broom sweeping the floor.
Indio's told me so many stories about you and your year's together, it's as if I know you well. You must have really dealt with a lot of grief, when he'd come home, with all his problems. I salute you and the guts, grace and love it took to be with this man during those times. I know you had to be a great woman/lady for this man to have stayed with you and loved you so much. You gave of yourself, unselfishly when you allowed him to father children, with other women and then wanted to accept them as your own, something I don't think I could have done. I'm too selfish with my man, and would get very hostile, should another woman, want to get near him.
Once again, my hat's off to the lady, who Indio loved so much and I would never try to take your memory away from him or mar it in any way. It's part of what make's him the man he is today.
Sincerely,
Nita



Friday, July 18, 2008

Dear Mamaw
















Dear Mamaw,
You taught me so very much........just look at this sweet potato plant I grew from the top of a sweet potato that had sprouted.......you taught me how to grow things in the earth........to fix the soil.......to grow veggies and how to cook all that stuff.
You taught me how to crotchet, tat lace, embroider on to pillow slips and other things. You taught me to sew, and how to cut out the material......you even taught me how to design and make my own patterns from newspapers. I have so much in my life because of your patience and dedication to raising this one girl, no one else wanted or cared about........
I thank God you were there for me, he knew where to put me, and you did a great job.......I only hope I haven't let you and him down too bad, amongst all the time's I seem to fail.
I love you for your love to me,
Your grand daughter,
Nita Kaye

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Child Obesity, Today's Problem

Too much Junk Food? Get your kids to eat something that's healthy for them.
The children in our world today, are not the healthy children we hope they would be. Modern environments, have produced a generation of obese children, that will grow up to be unhealthy adults. A website, is offering a different way to control this problem. The YoNaturals - Healthy Student Vending
is showing how to get the interaction between schools, parents and children, with a 7 step program. Parent and students can speak with school administrators or food service directors and get their support. Create some excitement about the products with special marketing projects, like giving away free treats to get them introduced, and put up posters to draw attention. Today's actions, will build a healthier generation of adults, tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Too Many Days......

It's another rough day, for me........when I saw the light breaking through the window this morning and knew another day had arrived, I knew that I'd have to find ways to make it again......through the horrendous task of hurting, now that he's gone. It's been a weepy time for me and I really have to get a grip on myself, when I see him at our place, doing his usual things. What makes it even worse, is when he tries to talk to me and I have to look him in the face too long. I can feel the tears weld up and I have to yank my eyes away, to keep from blubbering out and bawling. I wish it was different and we could have gotten along. We had some good times, but the little crap, ruined everything.
Hey, God..........just hold on to me.....and get me through.........I know your there and will help me........I need your strength during this time...
Nita Kaye


Monday, July 14, 2008

I Need Help Here...

Hello god,
It's been a rough few days, and I still am having a hard time, with this break up. I really need you to give me strength, especially when I feel the pains of missing him. He's just on the other side of town, but I can't bring myself to cry yet. Oh I get misty eyed, ever so often, and I wipe away the tears fast, but I've not had a big "boo hoo". Actually, I haven't let myself have it, because it seems so final.
You know things are just not right, and that's something that will never change. The circumstances, behind this breakup are so stupid and wouldn't be hard to clean up, but neither one of us wants to budge. So, there it is in a nutshell, foolish pride once again kills a good relationship.
I'm not ready to accept the bad this person, puts into our relationship, and that's the main thing, that's come between us.
I love him, but I know it's over....and that's what hurts the most.......loosing the good parts that he contributed to the relationship.......I'll really miss him, and that will be the most horrible part.
If you can help me, I sure need it. I know your have your ways of handling things, so I will let you do what you think is necessary to make this situation complete.
Once again, thank you for always being there, when I really need you.
Sincerely
Nita Kaye

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Hey RL & Jan

How mean of you to make these brats of your's so bad and then go off and leave them here on us, to deal with. Hey you are out of the mess you two created and free of the crap these vultures dish out. You should be the one's to have to put up with your demons. If it weren't for you these brats wouldn't be turned loose on society. You have horrible kids and they don't care who they abuse....how much they take....or what they can get away with....just like you two did, when you were alive. They are a product of your and your lives, and that's not giving you one compliment to your credit. You make me hate ever knowing you two and wanting to be in your lives. How could I have been so stupid? I just wish I had never met you two, then I wouldn't have to deal with your bratty kids.........they need to leave me alone.......I don't want to be their step-mom.
Sincerely
Nita Kaye

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Hello God.......

Hello up there,
I'm just feeling the need to talk to you, even though there's not a lot to say. I keep thinking about things, and how in my life they are good, but in other's they're not.
First of all, I want to thank you for the good that's happened in my life, and for the "love" of someone, I thought I'd never find. You sent me someone who had to be accepted for who he was, and to my joy I found a whole new world open up. That world isn't perfect by a long shot, but there's so much good, that it over powers any bad, that I stumble into. I waited all these years and searched for this type of love, only to be hurt or mistreated by the one's I chose to share this love with. While not looking for anything and secretly looking at the same time, I bumped into a person, whose life had similar circumstances and had been through many horrible trials through his life as well. This gave us a communion, that only we could have together. We've had our up's and down's, but they haven't bothered the relationship, we have as one. I looked for this all these years, only to find it now.
I had gotten to the point, I didn't believe in it anymore, and figured the men were all out for themselves, and to heck with the word "love". I feared if I got with anyone else, it would turn out the same. There were times, I believed that no one could love me for who I was. I really thought, I was such a bad person, and no one wanted a woman like me, for a relationship.
But you do work in mysterious ways, don't you? You have plans we don't even know about and can't even fathom. For that I am so very "thankful", and don't know what I'd do, if I didn't know where you were, and how to contact you.
Thanks for all the great and good things, you placed in my life. Know that I will tell anyone, that I can about you, when I know they need an emotional boost, and maybe it will help them get through some of the rough times they face, just like you did for me.
I'm in your debt!
Sincerely
Nita Kaye


Monday, July 7, 2008

Dear Uncle Cicero










Here you are in your Cook uniform, when you were in the Army, it's an old picture.


It's been too long, since you've been gone.........you were like a Dad to me......in the place of the one who didn't care to be. I was your "girl" and that was it. You worried about me and made sure I had things, when I needed them.
I remember you carrying me on your shoulder, when we'd be walking home from church. Back then you didn't have a car, so we all walked to and from church on Sunday's and Wednesday nights. I'd fall asleep because I was still young and my bedtime, was usually around 7 or 8 o'clock. So, you'd pick me up out of the church pew, and carry me home. You and my grandmother, made sure I was there every time the doors were opened.
I remember how you'd sit up on the square in town, and watch all the people go by, who were shopping. You'd sit there and whittle, on a piece of wood.........it pissed the store owner's off, from the mess, but you didn't care........some times, you'd have a cow horn, that you'd scrap with a broken piece of glass, to get the outside layers of bone, off and make the horn thinner, so it would make a good sound when you finally had it made into a hunting horn. You'd blow it at your "coon hunting dogs", when you wanted them to come in from the hunt. You went "coon hunting" for years, until you got too old to climb up and down the creek banks and follow after the dogs. You always prided yourself in having good hunting dogs, and we'd have to feed them everyday for you. I remember you checking out one of the dog houses, one day.......to see why the dog wouldn't go in it..........you turned it over and there was a whole nest of "bumble bee's". Here they came after you and you grabbed up a plank and was beating them off, but a few still popped you! Now that was a sight to see, you with your big body, moving around like that! You were a robust man, weighting in at 250 pounds or more......so, you didn't move very fast...... but that time you did! :)
I'm so sorry for the way you had to die alone, in that horrible hospital.................and I don't like the way things, happened.................I'll never forget it......
I love you and hope you are walking around up there with Mamaw, and enjoying things.
I miss you and her very much
Kaye

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Dear Mamaw

It's been hard not having you to talk to. I miss our conversations on things, that's going on in our world. I miss asking your opinions about things, that's happening in my life. About how you would handle a situation, that seems to be out of control? Most of the time you would confirm what I already thought, but it gave more substance, to my decisions, when I had your ideas on the subject.
You had such a hard life, and gave of yourself to so many, yet you were able to keep a good outlook. I've tried to do what I think you would tell me was the right thing, and I can't always, do it. So, I improvise and make the best of it that I can. I really miss you and hope that in some way, your still guiding me along this beaten path.
Your grand-daughter,
Kaye

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Dear Aunt Druzy

I was so young and small, yet I remember you and the way you conducted yourself around people. You were down right mean, and there's no getting around it. I remember as a small child you struck me as a person, who could melt the socks off of me by just looking at me with you horrible stare.
I never really knew you, because of the fact I was so young, and I guess I'm lucky on that part. You didn't seem to be the type of person, who liked anyone, and always wanted control of your environment. Outsiders, were best gotten rid of as fast as possible, to regain your idea of harmony.
I remember the horrible days, leading up to your death. The stench that your excrement, gave off was overwhelming. You had a horrible cancer, and the radium treatments, had burned your intestines, so badly that it had caused your insides to be coming out, in your bowel movements. I remember your excruciating screams, each time you would have the movements. Your sister(my grandmother), would come up and clean you and change your and your bed. I would be sent to another room, while she tended you.
The day you died, I also was sent to the kitchen and the door was shut. This was the way the people handled delicate situations, back in those days. I'm glad they did, because I was only 4 or 5 years old and really wasn't at an age for dealing with this type of thing, that life gives forth.
Honestly, I don't wish that type of thing on anyone, but do you think God, has a way of handling, people who don't act right?
Today, I find myself being too much like you and it really irks me, to realize it. I wish I would have been able to have a different attitude about my life and the people in it. Yet, I find that maybe, you were a victim of circumstances, as I have been, and maybe that's what moved you to act in the manner of meanness. It may have been your only defense to the actions of other people, towards you. I'd like to think that's what has caused my ways of dealing with people, who let me down or abused my good faith.
Sincerely, I hope that you had something in life, that gave you happiness. Maybe, if you had lived longer, and I had gotten to know you better, I would have found something about you that was nice.
God, bless you wherever you are.......
Nita Kaye

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

My Comments

Today's the day the Lord, hath made I will rejoice and be glad in it...........
What a beautiful morning to wake up to, and see the sun looming on the horizon.....
It's great to still be alive after all these years, and be able to enjoy each day as it comes.
I realize, that each day is a blessing and no matter what happens during that day, it is for a reason.
I truly am grateful for each day, that I am given to live on this earth and pray there will be many more, for me to enjoy.
I hope you can enjoy life to the fullest and be happy to be alive, while you have it........
Nita